When I first became a mom, I thought the hardest part of this journey would be the sleepless nights, the toddler tantrums, or the endless piles of laundry. Turns out, one of the biggest challenges wasn’t parenting—it was keeping my relationship strong while navigating the chaos of raising a tiny human.
Because let’s be honest… once kids enter the picture, it’s so easy to shift into “co-parenting roommates” mode. You both get caught up in the daily grind of bottles, diapers, routines, and responsibilities, and suddenly, weeks (or months) pass before you realize you haven’t had a real conversation that wasn’t about sleep schedules or grocery lists.
But here’s the thing—relationships don’t fall apart overnight. They fade, little by little, in the moments we overlook, in the small gestures we stop making, in the effort we stop putting in. And the truth is, it’s not the grand gestures that make a relationship strong—it’s the little things.
Let’s talk about the small but powerful habits that can keep the love alive, no matter how busy life gets.
1️⃣ Time & Attention > Expensive Gifts
There’s this amazing clip of DMX talking about orchids—how he thought they needed the most expensive soil, fancy lights, and the perfect conditions to grow, but in reality, all they needed was time and attention. (You can watch the video on my Instagram and TikTok).
💡 And isn’t that exactly how relationships work?
It’s not about buying expensive gifts or extravagant vacations—it’s about being fully present.
✔️ Putting your phone down when they’re talking.
✔️ Making eye contact instead of half-listening.
✔️ Asking about their day and really caring about the answer.
Love isn’t built in big moments; it’s built in the small, everyday choices to show up, pay attention, and make your person feel valued.
2️⃣ Thoughtfulness Over Bare Minimum Effort
💬 "You don’t realize that laziness can kill a relationship. You think just being there, staying loyal is enough, but it’s not."
So many people believe that if they’re not cheating, not lying, and not fighting, then they’re doing “enough.” But relationships don’t thrive on avoiding the bad—they thrive on actively choosing the good.
✔️ Random compliments (yes, even after years together).
✔️ A quick “thinking of you” text in the middle of the day.
✔️ Holding hands while watching TV.
✔️ Bringing home their favorite snack, just because.
✔️ Planning date nights—without being asked.
Small, intentional acts of love keep the connection alive. Don’t just exist in the relationship—actively nurture it.
3️⃣ Feeling Heard, Seen & Appreciated
Have you ever had one of those moments where you’re talking to your partner, and you can tell they’re only half-listening? It sucks, right? 😩
Feeling heard, seen, and appreciated isn’t about big speeches or love letters—it’s about the daily interactions that say “I see you, and you matter.”
✔️ Acknowledging their efforts ("Hey, I noticed you did the dishes—thank you.")
✔️ Validating their feelings instead of dismissing them.
✔️ Checking in emotionally ("How are you, really?")
✔️ Remembering the small details—the way they take their coffee, their go-to comfort food, the song that makes them light up.
We all just want to feel like we matter to the person we love. And the best relationships make sure that feeling never fades.
4️⃣ Laughter & Playfulness Keep the Spark Alive
When was the last time you truly laughed together? Like, not just a chuckle, but the kind of belly laugh that makes your stomach hurt?
Life gets serious. Responsibilities pile up. But relationships that last don’t just survive—they find ways to stay light, fun, and playful.
✔️ Inside jokes that no one else understands.
✔️ Silly texts throughout the day.
✔️ Spontaneous dance parties in the kitchen.
✔️ Teasing each other in a way that brings you closer.
Laughter isn’t just fun—it’s glue. It keeps you connected even when life feels overwhelming.
5️⃣ The Power of “I Love You” (And Actually Meaning It)
You know what’s underrated? Actually saying “I love you” in a meaningful way. Not just a rushed “love ya” before hanging up the phone, but a moment where you stop, look them in the eye, and say it like you mean it.
💡 Say it when they least expect it.
💡 Say it in a way that makes them feel it.
💡 Say it even when you’re mad—because love doesn’t disappear in hard moments.
And most importantly? Show it in the way you treat them every single day.
Final Thoughts: Love is Built in the Little Things
If you take nothing else from this, let it be this:
✔️ Love doesn’t fade overnight. It fades when we stop putting in the small, daily effort.
✔️ A great relationship isn’t about what you avoid. It’s about what you intentionally do to make your partner feel valued.
✔️ Little things matter more than you realize. They build a foundation that holds love together through every season of life.
So today, do something small. Send that sweet text. Give that unexpected compliment. Plan that date night.
Because in the end, those little things? They mean everything. ❤️