Let me start with a scene straight from my own life:

I was 7 months pregnant, bloated like a balloon, exhausted after toddler-wrangling all day, and just trying to enjoy my 4-minute lukewarm shower when my husband walked in to ask if I knew where the remote was.

The. Remote.

I could feel my soul leave my body.

And before I knew it, I was snapping about how "I don’t know where your damn remote is and maybe if you put it in the same place for ONCE in your life--"

Yep. Classic unnecessary fight. And here’s the kicker: we weren’t even fighting about the remote. We were fighting because I felt overwhelmed, unheard, and unsupported. And he? Probably just wanted to watch Formula 1.

Welcome to the wild, emotional rollercoaster that is arguing in a relationship.

But guess what? Arguments don’t have to end with slammed doors and tear-stained pillows. Let’s talk about how to fight... without destroying your love in the process.

🧠 Step 1: Know Your Trigger Points (a.k.a. The Real Fight)

Not every fight is about what it seems. Remote = not the problem.

Take a moment to ask yourself: what are you really upset about? Feeling ignored? Touched out? Like the mental load is slowly crushing your soul?

If you can name the real issue, you’re already halfway to solving it.

🕊️ Step 2: Take a Break Before You Blow Up

There is zero shame in saying, "I need a minute."

In fact, it’s way more helpful than trying to power through a fight when you’re already seeing red.

You’re not avoiding the conversation. You’re just pausing before you verbally destroy your partner for chewing too loudly.

🗣️ Step 3: Use the Magic Formula

"I feel [emotion] when [situation] because [reason]."

Example: "I feel overwhelmed when I have to manage bedtime solo because it makes me feel like I’m parenting alone."

Not: "You NEVER help with bedtime and I do EVERYTHING around here."

See the difference?

🙉 Step 4: Listen to Actually Listen

Not to reply. Not to win. Not to keep score.

Just. Listen.

(Yes, even when they say something dumb. Especially then.)

🤝 Step 5: Make Up the Right Way

Reconnection after an argument is just as important as the resolution.

Say sorry. Hug. Cuddle. Share a chocolate bar. Say, "We good?" and mean it.

Conflict is normal. Disconnection doesn’t have to be.

💬 Final Thoughts

The goal isn't to never fight. It's to learn how to fight fair.

Because you're not enemies. You're partners.

And partners mess up, but they also come back together, stronger, softer, more aware.

So the next time you’re ready to lose it over laundry left on the floor or dishwasher drama, just remember: it's not about the socks. It's about how you feel.

And feelings? They're allowed.