My 2-year-old is currently obsessed with books. Like, we read the same three books 20 times a day level of obsessed. And I quickly realized that my go-to questions were mostly “Is this a dog?” “Is this a cat?” And let’s be honest, that’s a little… well, basic. So, I did a deep dive into research, expert advice, and some trial-and-error with my toddler. And wow—just changing the way we ask questions has a huge impact on how toddlers think, speak, and develop.
Turns out, not all questions are created equal. Some make kids passive responders, while others spark creativity, problem-solving, and critical thinking. Let’s break it down!
(For further reading on how open-ended questions enhance language development, check out this research from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child: Harvard Study on Language & Brain Development)
Why Does the Way We Ask Questions Matter?
Research shows that open-ended and thought-provoking questions do way more for a toddler’s development than simple yes/no ones.
Here’s why:
✅ Boosts critical thinking – Kids learn to analyze, predict, and explain.
✅ Expands vocabulary – They start using more words beyond just "yes" and "no."
✅ Encourages curiosity – They begin making connections between things.
✅ Improves memory & recall – Helps them retrieve and process information better.
And the best part? You don’t need expensive toys or structured activities. Just YOU being present and engaging with them the right way.
The Different Levels of Questions & How They Impact Thinking
🚫 Level 1: The "Yes/No" Trap
❌ Example: "Is this a dog?"
- Problem? Your toddler is just agreeing with you, not thinking on their own.
- What to do instead? Swap it for an open-ended question.
🟡 Level 2: Basic Recall Questions
🤔 Example: "What sound does a cat make?"
- Slightly better! But still limited because it’s just memory recall, not critical thinking.
✅ Level 3: Open-Ended & Expansive Thinking
🚀 Example: "What do you think this dog is doing?"
- Now we’re talking! This makes kids describe, predict, and imagine beyond a one-word answer.
How to Upgrade Your Toddler’s Questions – With Examples
❌ Basic (No Growth) → ✅ Smart (Brain-Boosting)
❌ "What sound does a bird make?" → ✅ "What else can birds do besides chirping?"
❌ "Is this a fish?" → ✅ "Where do fish live? Can you think of other animals that live there?"
❌ "What color is the apple?" → ✅ "What else is red like an apple?"
❌ "Do you like this book?" → ✅ "What part of the story do you like the most? Why?"
❌ "Who says meow?" → ✅ "What other animals make sounds like a cat?"
❌ "Is this a bird?" → ✅ "Where do birds live? Can you name three different birds?"
Practical Tips to Apply This in Daily Life
- Be patient. Give them time to think instead of rushing for an answer.
- Model thinking out loud. Example: "Hmm, I wonder why the dog looks sad? What do you think?"
- Follow their interests. If they love dinosaurs, ask them questions about what dinosaurs eat, how they move, etc.
- Use storytelling. Instead of just reading, ask: "What do you think will happen next?"
Final Thoughts
Simply shifting the way we ask questions turns everyday moments into powerful learning experiences. Try it out with your toddler and watch how their thinking and communication skills grow!