Dear wannabe diary,

I’ve had it. Seriously, today is the day I’ve just had enough. Enough of people on my social media pretending life is all rainbows and unicorns, enough of wannabe gurus spewing garbage like, “You can be successful; making money is the easiest thing ever.”

F*** you, for real.

Okay, let’s start from the beginning.

I’m 28. I’m a mom, —ugh—a girlfriend. (I seriously hate that word; it makes me feel like a lovesick teenager. After nine years together, one child, and another on the way, “partner” feels way more appropriate for our stage in life. So yeah, let’s go with that—at least until I’m his wife) oh, and I am also a wannabe entrepreneur. And this year, I decided to throw myself headfirst into the deep end of discomfort. Why? Because I’ve spent my whole life avoiding it. The fear of “What will people think?” and “Who would even listen to me?” has held me back in more ways than I can count.

So, I’ve decided to tackle that fear in the most extreme way possible: by putting myself out there. Yep, on social media, where literally anyone can see me. TikTok, Instagram, Facebook—you name it. And since I’ve been keeping everything bottled up for far too long, I’m starting this blog to finally let it all out onto “paper.” Think of it as my version of therapy—because let’s be real, I can’t afford the actual kind.

This is going to be my raw, unfiltered, no-BS personal diary.

Why now?

Because I’ve had enough. Enough of the endless cycle of trying and failing. Enough of pretending I’m okay with where I’m at when I know I’m not. I’ve been trying to build something—anything—that would give me and my family the freedom we dream of since 2018. And you know what? Practically everything has flopped.

But let me back up a bit.

A little about me

I’m a mom to an amazing little girl and a partner to a wonderful man who, after nine years together, still hasn’t proposed. And no, I don’t hold it against him. We’ve got other priorities. We’re not about to go into debt just to have the wedding of our dreams. It’ll happen when it’s meant to. Oh, and we’re expecting another little girl this May! It’s been a journey to become parents—a long road involving IVF—but we’re thrilled.

Since 2018, my partner and I have been trying to create something bigger. A business that lets us quit our jobs and do something we truly love. Don’t get me wrong—we’re not looking to lounge around. We’re both hard workers. But we crave financial freedom. The kind that lets us spend time with our kids without feeling drained from a 9-to-5 grind that barely pays the bills. The kind that doesn’t leave us too exhausted to enjoy life.

But here’s the thing: we’ve failed. Over and over again. 

The “job” situation

Right now, I work in digital marketing—a career I landed thanks to the skills I picked up while trying (and failing) to start a business. Funny how that works, right? I actually studied to be a nurse, but somehow ended up managing Amazon listings, strategizing email campaigns, and optimizing SEO instead. I used to really enjoy it, but my current workplace has sucked all the joy out of it. 

This kind of work might be well-paid in the U.S., but in the country where I live, it’s incredibly undervalued. Despite being practically a jack-of-all-trades, you barely make enough to get by at the end of the month.

Still, I can’t afford to quit. My failed business attempts haven’t exactly set us up for financial freedom, and bills don’t pay themselves. So here I am, working a job I don’t love, chasing a dream that feels like it’s always just out of reach.

The struggle

People love to say, “Just keep going, and you’ll succeed.” But what if I’m doing it wrong? I’ve got this terrible habit of giving up too quickly. If I don’t see progress fast enough, I abandon ship and jump to the next shiny idea.

That’s part of why I’m starting this diary—this blog, these social accounts. It’s my way of venting, of putting everything out there, no matter how messy or imperfect it is. And yeah, maybe I’ll give up on this too. But for now, I’m doing it because it feels right. And for the first time, I won’t tell anyone in my family about this—at least not for now. They’ve always been supportive, but I’m tired of feeling like a failure every time something doesn’t pan out.

What’s the point?

The point is this: I want to create a space where I can be real. Where I can share the highs and lows, the wins and the losses, without feeling like I need to filter or fake anything.

I want to build a community of people who get it—who know what it’s like to want more from life, to fail over and over but still keep pushing. A place where we can celebrate our failures as much as our successes, because let’s be honest, failure is way more common (at least for me).

And maybe, just maybe, someone out there will read this and feel a little less alone.

So, what can you expect?

Here’s the deal: I’m going to treat this diary, like no one’s reading it. I’ll share my thoughts, my struggles, my successes, and my epic failures. I’ll talk about what I’m working on in my business and personal life.

What I won’t share are my kids’ lives. I’m too protective for that. But I am still a mom, so of course I will be talking about that aspect of my life as well. 

Oh, and one more thing—I’m writing all of this in English, even though it’s not my first language. I live in Europe, not the US, but hey, let’s step out of that comfort zone, right? Writing is fine, but speaking? That’s a whole other story. My vocabulary freezes when I start worrying about saying the “right” thing, and I end up sounding like an idiot. It happens in my native language too, so yay, consistency!

Welcome to Wannabe Diary

So here I am. A mom, a (hopefully) future wife, and a wannabe entrepreneur who refuses to give up, no matter how many times I fail.

If you’re here, maybe you’ll stick around. Maybe not. But for now, I’m doing this for me. To vent, to reflect, to share. And who knows? Maybe I’ll even figure out how to turn my failures into something great.

Here’s to stepping out of the comfort zone. Cheers to the wannabes. Let’s see where this goes.