Dear Wannabe Diary,
Have I already mentioned that I’m having a hard time writing these last few days and that nothing remotely exciting is happening right now? Yep, still in that phase. I swear, ever since I envisioned the new direction for this blog and my content, I’ve completely lost the drive for the old way of doing things. It’s like I’m already mentally in the next chapter, but my body is stuck here, dragging itself through the last few pages.
I even considered stopping the old format after today and just taking the weekend off before kicking off the new style on Monday. But no. Consistency is key. And if I let myself skip one day, it could easily turn into two, then three, and before I know it, I’d be right back where I started—procrastinating, making excuses, and letting self-doubt creep in.
So here I am, writing. Even though my brain would rather be doing literally anything else.
Preparing for the Next Phase (a.k.a. My Brain is in Overdrive)
The past few days have been all about preparation. The new content format is way more demanding—more structured, more planned out, more complex. So I’ve been batch-creating posts, designing visuals, filming, editing, brainstorming, researching, tweaking, doubting, overthinking, tweaking again… you get the point.
Because of this, I haven’t even had time to finish my book, which is now staring at me, silently judging me. I’m at the final section—a 4-week meditation challenge that I really want to start, but I know if I throw one more thing onto my plate right now, I’ll end up feeling overwhelmed and just… shutting down. And I don’t want that. I refuse to fall back into my old cycle of taking on too much, burning out, losing motivation, and quitting halfway through.
So I keep reminding myself: Pace yourself. Breathe. You don’t have to do everything overnight.
Breaking the Old Patterns (For Real This Time)
If there’s one thing I’m determined to change, it’s this bad habit of mine—starting things and not finishing them. I’ve done it so many times before. I get super excited about something, dive in headfirst, obsess over it for a few weeks, and then… the enthusiasm wears off, I don’t see results fast enough, and I move on to something else.
Not this time. This time, I’m in it for the long run.
That means pushing through even when I’m tired. Even when I don’t feel like it. Even when my brain is screaming at me to take a break and watch random YouTube videos instead. I know that if I just get through this difficult adjustment phase, it’ll become easier.
Plus, I have to keep reminding myself that I’m doing all of this alone.
- Website? Me.
- Social media? Me.
- Blog? Me.
- Content planning? Me.
- Editing? Me.
- Learning new strategies? Me.
And that’s okay. But it also means I need to give myself grace and stop expecting to master everything instantly.
My Impulse Control is... A Work in Progress
Speaking of bad habits I need to work on… let’s talk about my impulse buying problem. 😅
I’m actually not someone who shops a lot for random things. I don’t go on massive shopping sprees or waste money on trendy clothes I’ll never wear. But the second I decide I want to try something new?
🚨 Immediate purchase mode activated. 🚨
- When I decided I wanted to make candles? Ordered everything instantly.
- When I was stuck in bed due to placenta previa and thought making jewelry would be fun? Bought all the supplies.
- I made one necklace. ONE. The rest is still sitting in a drawer somewhere. 😂
- And don’t even get me started on the wax for candle-making that I still haven’t used. At this point, it’ll either be repurposed for DIY Christmas gifts or thrown out in a fit of frustration.
But now? I’m setting new rules. No more impulse-buying supplies for things I might stick with. Instead, I’ll wait a week or two before hitting "checkout." If I still want it after that time? Fine. If not? Saved myself some money and another abandoned hobby.
I mean, let’s be real—do I need a new phone just because I’m filming more reels? Probably not. Do I need a tablet just because I think it might make editing easier? Nope.
But my brain? Already making excuses for why those would be "smart business investments." 😂
So my rule: Once I actually start earning from this, THEN I can upgrade. Until then, no unnecessary purchases.
The Hardest Part is the Beginning… But I’m Not Stopping
I’m really testing my discipline right now. Earlier today, I almost convinced myself to skip this blog post. I was exhausted from working on new content all day, and my brain was so much more excited about what’s coming next that this felt… pointless.
I even told myself, "Come on, you’ve posted every single day this month. One day off won’t kill you."
And you know what? I didn’t let myself give in.
Because skipping one day can turn into two, then three… and before I know it, I’m back to old habits.
So here I am, finishing today’s post, just like I said I would. And honestly? I feel good about it.
Now, I can finally go design today’s IG posts, collapse into bed, and count down the minutes until Monday—because for the first time in my life, I’m actually excited for a Monday. 😂
Who even am I? 20-year-old me would be horrified.
Until tomorrow,